The Saga Continues

September - the school month. The month when you start wearing socks and quit wearing flip-flops and forget about the occasional run with no shoes at all. The end of the barefoot, carefree summer. But oh so exciting beginning of the school year. The intoxicating smell of books, school bags, pencil cases, the rush of being in the school corridors, the promise of hysterical classroom laughter, the adrenaline of exams.....aahhh, the good times. At least when you're in elementary school, and you are not yet your own worst enemy. Like you might become in high school.

But, that's my story, not my kids'. Somehow, my kids seem to be different from me! What's up with that?!? :)

Well, Josip (my 1st grader) seems to be following in his mama's footsteps, at least for now. When he's in front of his classroom, he seems hypnotized - doesn't even notice me once the thought of entering that room possesses his mind. I can't deny that that gives me such joy.

Jakov, on the other hand, seems to be ridden with different little problems that annoy him like flies when he's trying to concentrate and do something pertaining to school. He is often completely miserable. The hardest thing about looking up different learning disabilities is that he seems to have symptoms for each and every one of them. ADD, dyslexia, visual perceptual deficit, bad short term memory (related  to his stuttering), etc. I don't think it is something very severe, more like a mild case of such things combined with a personality that becomes overwhelmed easily and shrinks away from 'hard' things. And the hardest thing for him, and is related to all learning, is reading. Our reading sessions are usually soaked in tears. Last year, our friend Rachel used to help him with that, trying to make it fun, and he loved it. This year, Charlie and Barb will try. I love them all so much for thinking about Jakov like that and doing something about it. His speech therapist is also trying to help, because it seems that children who stutter are known to have a hard time reading, at least in the beginning. Anyway, please pray...

He needs to read a book of Andersen's fairy tales by next Thursday. We are still in the first story - The Ugly Duckling. His pace is so slow that he doesn't even get things he reads. Which in Andersen's case might be just as well!! Why give such incredibly SAD stories to an eight year old who probably will not know how to cope with it?!? But that's another story. He needs to have a book report on this by Thursday. Please pray with us...

Oh yes, it's been a while

The Busy July is almost at its end. One more event tonight and tomorrow night, and we are leaving the green pastures of Slavonia and exchanging them for the vast blues of the Adriatic. Praying for sunshine, a lot of sunshine to warm up our bones, to make us sleepy and full of smiles, to ressssst.

Tomorrow evening we are hoping to make a bonfire and roast corn with our short-termers. 'The Edgers'. Make some sweet memories, hopefully. They've all been very good, wonderful girls.

I'm aching for the sound of waves and concerts of crickets, squeaking of pebbles and the smell of pine trees.

in the waiting mode

The boys are still gone. On the phone, Josip sounds happy. I hope they are. I pray they are.

I spent this morning at Jakov's school, talking to the school's psychologists about Jakov's problems with attention and reading skills. It was a good experience, and although not much was concluded, the ladies were very encouraging, and they said they will continue monitoring him in the Fall. I hope the teacher will open her heart and mind toward me and let me have at least her phone number! So strange, that a teacher wouldn't want to work together with the parent on the child's welfare. Maybe she had some bad experiences in the past?!? I don't know. The Lord is with us. Every step of the way. Prayer, prayer, prayer. Putting my trust in Him.

5 more days and my boys will be home.

I'm thankful for...

encouragement at discouraging places

the golden green grass at sunset

flowers

my neighbour's tractor (Luka 'drove' it:)

my neighbour Kaja, an old woman who gives Luka chocolate

my hardworking husband

freshly made apricot jam

a lunch that was full of goodies from our garden

reading 1 Peter with M in the quiet morning

that our faith is more precious than gold

that dying to self is a victory

kind stray dogs

my car radio

friends, always friends...

Jesus, who bought my salvation. and it was costly.

of partings

Jakov and Josip are gone for a week at a Christian camp for kids. We've just said goodbye and hugged and waived and blew kisses. This might be one of the hardest goodbyes of my life.

Josip seemed like such a tiny little creature, in his red cap and bermuda shorts. He is so skinny. They both kept smiling and I tried to find some words of fun and cheer, but I think I failed miserably. My boys. The tall Jakov and the tiny Josip. I love them so much. And CAN'T wait for them to come home next Saturday.

Please Lord, keep them safe, keep them warm, keep them wrapped in your grace, bathed in your kindness, your love...

Seeking Father's Kingdom First

One of the most well known verses, but still, a verse that is so easy to 'skip', because, 'I know this one'. Its abstractness makes it layered, and I have a tendency to stop thinking as soon as I've found the first satisfying answer. But, what does it mean? Maybe, going to Church on Sunday, tithing, sending kids to Christian camps... But, isn't this verse so much deeper... it takes time to think about what it really means. Like, in a certain situation when a friend makes a little remark that allows you to see that there is something wrong with your relationship that you had no knowledge of. You catch a glimpse of a dark light coming through the crack of their sentence. You feel hurt, because you are not 'like that' (although you maybe are). But, all of a sudden you don't trust them as before and all you feel is a desire to retaliate.

Or when you want to go to sleep early, so you can get up early and 'seek the Kingdom', but your husband would really like to watch a movie with you.

Or when, jumping from moderate to high heat in an argument, he tells you that you can't even keep the house in order, let alone yourself.

What then? I panic. And in that moment I realize that I connect seeking to reading, to quiet time, as if it's limited to that serene setting. I think: Doesn't this seeking has to do with reading the Bible? and don't I seek while I read? How do I seek it now that I'm hurt and my ego swells, and lights go out and I stagger around, hitting the walls?

Seeking God's kingdom means losing ourselves in obedience to the Lord and pouring out our lives in the eternal work of our heavenly Father.

John MacArthur

Losing ourselves. Pouring out our lives. Dying to self. Putting others first. Surrendering my will, knowing that it's not about me, but in Him, through Him and for Him. And He is good. And I can trust Him. Because He loves me with an undying love.

Here is a stanza from a poem (My love, by James Russell Lowell) that I came across that made the dying more clear, more tangible and, ultimately, more winsome. I secretly wish my husband will some day find this poem and see a glimpse of me in it...

She doeth little kindnesses,

Which most leave undone, or despise:

For naught that sets one heart at ease,

And giveth happiness or peace,

Is low-esteemèd in her eyes.

For now, I want to wholeheartedly continue with thanksgiving... One thousand gifts...

#46 blooming of roses

#47 receiving the Kingdom that cannot be shaken (Heb 12:38)

#48 ordering children's books through bookdepository.com - free shipping worldwide:)

#49 women with a great sense of humor

#50 prayers with Jakov

#51 M's help, sacrificial help

#52 the good outcome of Charlie's surgery

#53 Jami and for the internet

#54 words

#55 computers

#56 a good night's rest

#57 Jakov getting an A in English

#58 potatoes in bloom:)

#59 the smell of C&B's house

#60 Kekec

#61 losing weight

#62 Luka's laughs, when he throws his head back

#63 trains that come on time

#64 coming home after a long day out

#65 the new flowers in the garden

#66 our well

#67 coffee with friends

#68 my 'hoarding' father in law

#69 the stillness of the kitchen early in the morning

#70 the knick-knacks on the windowsill

A-weedin' and a-wonderin'

I've never had a vegetable garden before. Or any sort of garden, for that matter. I was born and raised on the third floor of an apartment building, overlooking the kindergarten and low Dalmatian hillside. (Apartment buildings were the usual dwelling places of the middle class in socialist Yugoslavia. Like anthills.)

However, milling around my garden the last few weeks, I was struck with a thought that no matter how much I try, and take care of the weeds, and the soil, and put sticks for the tomatoes - all that is just peripheral in a sense. The real part, the reason why the vegetable garden was planted - TO GROW VEGETABLES - is beyond me!! I can't do anything to make it grow, I can just watch, hope and pray, and weed, and put sticks...

The miracle of growth belongs to HIM. We can 'work out our salvation' (Phil. 2:12) only in the sense of weeding and putting sticks, but the miracle of growth belongs to HIM.

What is so rare as a day in June?

This title is so inspiring...

I am thankful for

#31 children giggling and screaming for joy

#32 planted flowers

#33 the fact that Sirač is only an hour away

#34 friends from afar

#35 M's support

#36 the ease with which I can watch Luka get totally dirty in the sand, and not worry one bit

#37 my mother's joy

#38 occasional conversations with my brother

#39 our TEAMMATES

#40 the good books that arrive through the mail!

#41 the good books that friends bring in their generous hands

#42 being involved in my neighbour's wedding

#43 hosting a beach party for the neighbourhood kids on our lawn

#44 Charlie and Barb coming back

#45 Ann Voskamp's daily inspiration