Or when you want to go to sleep early, so you can get up early and 'seek the Kingdom', but your husband would really like to watch a movie with you.
Or when, jumping from moderate to high heat in an argument, he tells you that you can't even keep the house in order, let alone yourself.
What then? I panic. And in that moment I realize that I connect seeking to reading, to quiet time, as if it's limited to that serene setting. I think: Doesn't this seeking has to do with reading the Bible? and don't I seek while I read? How do I seek it now that I'm hurt and my ego swells, and lights go out and I stagger around, hitting the walls?
Seeking God's kingdom means losing ourselves in obedience to the Lord and pouring out our lives in the eternal work of our heavenly Father.
Losing ourselves. Pouring out our lives. Dying to self. Putting others first. Surrendering my will, knowing that it's not about me, but in Him, through Him and for Him. And He is good. And I can trust Him. Because He loves me with an undying love.
Here is a stanza from a poem (My love, by James Russell Lowell) that I came across that made the dying more clear, more tangible and, ultimately, more winsome. I secretly wish my husband will some day find this poem and see a glimpse of me in it...