nedjelja, 12. lipnja 2011.

Seeking Father's Kingdom First

One of the most well known verses, but still, a verse that is so easy to 'skip', because, 'I know this one'. Its abstractness makes it layered, and I have a tendency to stop thinking as soon as I've found the first satisfying answer. But, what does it mean? Maybe, going to Church on Sunday, tithing, sending kids to Christian camps... But, isn't this verse so much deeper... it takes time to think about what it really means. Like, in a certain situation when a friend makes a little remark that allows you to see that there is something wrong with your relationship that you had no knowledge of. You catch a glimpse of a dark light coming through the crack of their sentence. You feel hurt, because you are not 'like that' (although you maybe are). But, all of a sudden you don't trust them as before and all you feel is a desire to retaliate.

Or when you want to go to sleep early, so you can get up early and 'seek the Kingdom', but your husband would really like to watch a movie with you.

Or when, jumping from moderate to high heat in an argument, he tells you that you can't even keep the house in order, let alone yourself.

What then? I panic. And in that moment I realize that I connect seeking to reading, to quiet time, as if it's limited to that serene setting. I think: Doesn't this seeking has to do with reading the Bible? and don't I seek while I read? How do I seek it now that I'm hurt and my ego swells, and lights go out and I stagger around, hitting the walls?

Seeking God's kingdom means losing ourselves in obedience to the Lord and pouring out our lives in the eternal work of our heavenly Father.
John MacArthur

Losing ourselves. Pouring out our lives. Dying to self. Putting others first. Surrendering my will, knowing that it's not about me, but in Him, through Him and for Him. And He is good. And I can trust Him. Because He loves me with an undying love.

Here is a stanza from a poem (My love, by James Russell Lowell) that I came across that made the dying more clear, more tangible and, ultimately, more winsome. I secretly wish my husband will some day find this poem and see a glimpse of me in it...

She doeth little kindnesses,
Which most leave undone, or despise:
For naught that sets one heart at ease,
And giveth happiness or peace,
Is low-esteemèd in her eyes.

For now, I want to wholeheartedly continue with thanksgiving... One thousand gifts...
#46 blooming of roses
#47 receiving the Kingdom that cannot be shaken (Heb 12:38)
#48 ordering children's books through - free shipping worldwide:)
#49 women with a great sense of humor
#50 prayers with Jakov
#51 M's help, sacrificial help
#52 the good outcome of Charlie's surgery
#53 Jami and for the internet
#54 words
#55 computers
#56 a good night's rest
#57 Jakov getting an A in English
#58 potatoes in bloom:)
#59 the smell of C&B's house
#60 Kekec
#61 losing weight
#62 Luka's laughs, when he throws his head back
#63 trains that come on time
#64 coming home after a long day out
#65 the new flowers in the garden
#66 our well
#67 coffee with friends
#68 my 'hoarding' father in law
#69 the stillness of the kitchen early in the morning
#70 the knick-knacks on the windowsill

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