Get off the bus!

Early morning. And already thoughts of rushing, thoughts of anxiety. Prayer, followed by anxiety. Something's wrong with that. And yet it's so familiar. Maybe recognizing it will make a difference? Leave the computer, go back on your knees.

of new beginnings

The train passes by. I like the sound of the train.

It's a cloudy little morning and my little patch of the sky is grey - that's the little sky piece that I see from my prayer place, which is nothing more than an armchair near the radiator. My Radiator Springs :) where I come to find the Living Water.

I've read a book recently and so many things were made alive inside me, so many unfarmed plots stirring, calling for rain, for the plowing. It's One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

A little while ago, we went for a Pioneers Conference on Brač, Croatia. Through His Word, the songs of praise and thoughts, and the huge fact that the kids were with different caretakers :) - I saw the barren land within me, repented and found Him loving me. Still!! And more than ever! in the sense that I understood it better than before, another layer on the road to the center of His love. When I became a Christian I understood - that knowledge is not an enormous shallow sea, the way I always saw it before, but a small area that goes deep down, always deeper and deeper. Like, when you hear 'God loves you'. And you think you understand. And then, after 11 years of living with Him, you see that you didn't really understand. There is a vast deal more to know. Not more in the perimeter but more in depth. In trust. Trust goes deep, not wide. That's what He wants from me, to trust Him.

My prayer today: But as for me, (may I be) like a green olive tree in the house of God;

(and) trust in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever.

The spot from which Cetina rises, the river from whose banks I hail. Scary looking, ha:)? So is this trusting business.

Visits and Cards

Miro's Dad and sister came to visit us the other weekend, and we enjoyed three days of lovely company and sunshine. Miro's Dad celebrated his 55th birthday with us and we had a bbq for him. My boys had a blast, they love their grandpa so much. His name is Ferenc and he lives in Zadar, where Miro is from. Zadar is a beautiful old city on the Dalmatian coast. Hopefully, we will go there this summer and stay for a week or so with grandpa, who lives alone, since Miro's Mom passed away 13 years ago.

Grandpa said he liked my cards (I was soooo flattered:D) and asked me to make two for his sister and her daughter Ella. Since I recently bought fantastic papers from my friend Teta Beta, I decided to use those. One card is intended for a grown woman, and for some reason I kept having in mind those shoes that have a clasp, like this :). Which is why the card looks like this...

The other one was meant for a little lady named Ella, and is much more girly and childlike.

I hope the girls will have fun on their birthdays.

Jakov Balint-Feudvarski

"Luka, I cannot hold you in my lap forever!", says Jakov and puts the screaming Luka on the floor. Aaaah... Life in our family is as hectic as ever:). No matter where you 'slice' us, you will find chatter and physical movement, laughter and wild gestures. Even Miro and I aren't immune to that. Actually, I think we belong to a group of parents who goof around a LOT... But also demand total discipine. Now, does that make us the worst or the best parents in the world?!? Probably neither. Mostly average. But, I will tell you there is one area where God has a lot to teach me, and I'm guessing that because the circumstances of my life DEMAND it of me, and that area is PATIENCE.

Longsuffering might be another term, since it sure feels like suffering :).

As you know, Jakov started school this academic year. Even before it started, I knew he was going to surprise me, since I had no idea what to expect. He has always been a wonder to me. Even when he was a little boy, I couldn't predict many things about him. All I knew was that he was different than me. My creativity always needs something to hold on to - like, I need a character from a book to identify with, and then I can easily imagine other characters and other worlds. But, Jakov... Jakov doesn't need something to trigger his creativity. He creates ex nihilo, if you'll pardon my expression. Like a true artist he finds the inspiration from within, and doesn't depend on his environment.

However, he also finds it hard to concentrate. Once he told me that the letters on the page were dancing. Ahem. And, did I mention that he stammers? As you can imagine, I was terrified of school, and, sure enough, it's been a crazy ride, this school business.

His teacher is a rather strict lady, but I have no problems with that. I have problems with myself and my atttude toward him. It's amazing how encouraging I am with the two students I help with different subjects at school, and yet, how short-fused I am when it comes to my own child. My firstborn. My enigma. The little wrinkled black haired guy that one day presented himself to me, glancing at me through his eyelashes.

So many opposite thoughts going through me while we are doing his homeworks: Is he just lazy? Did he really forget that, or is he lying? Is it possible that he cannot understand this, after I've explained it to him a moment ago? Why does he never read the assignement carefully (like I keep telling him)? Arghhh, it's a struggle. And goes much deeper than that.

However, I need to be resolved to get through this phase without having to regret it afterwards. My life is going on at this moment and the decisions about how I live it are mine. What do I want to do? I want to depend on the Lord and do what's right and then let go. And right in this case (or in any other case) is producing the fruit of the Spirit. And to do that - I must immerse myself in the Word and shift my focus to God. May this not be a soothing 'mantra' that never gets done but a new beginning.

Some last minute ones

Well, today is Badnjak, as we call it in Croatia - the day before Christmas. This Christmas we will be spending with our family in Christ, here in Nova Gradiška. There will be a special meal to which everyone will bring something yummy and my family will host it. I am SO looking forward to it. Many things still to be done, but it's all exciting!

School break officially began today for Jakov, and Josip is staying home for the holidays too. I am so glad we will all be together, celebrating the memory of our Savior's birth: Him coming down to 'Earth's darkest night', spreading His light and giving us the gift of eternal life!! What a Savior!

Encouraged by the fantastic Christmas party my teammates Tim and Rae hosted, I will be spending the next few days visiting neighbors with a plate of homemade cookies, looking for an opportunity to share the Gospel with them. The cards I make are also a kind of a present for my friends and neighbors. Here are some last minute ones:) I love how festive red color is...

But I think I like green even better;)

This one was 'delivered' this evening: I gave it to my lovely friend Ana, who lives just down the street.

All the little sentiments were stamped with my new Croatian stamp set designed by my amazing friend Elizabeta, aka Teta Beta:), who started a little business making cards for different occasions and now even offers stamps in Croatian!! Check out her work HERE.

Well, I wish you all a very merry Christmas!!! Be of good cheer and remember the One 'behind' it all:)!!

A little bit of Christmas cheer:)

Here are some of the cards I've been making lately. For our friends in the States we've sent out a photo card, I hope you guys over the ocean have received them already! These are the ones that will, for the most part, stay within the borders of 'Lijepa naša':).

The first one is a bit special and is intended for a wonderful woman who likes the red and black combination;).

However, these next two sets were really easy to make, and could all go under the category of a 10 minute card:)). But, don't they look lovely? Haha, praising myself...not a way to do it!

I hope you like them. Have a nice evening/day:))!

Little November update

So, what have we been up to in the past month or so? Time goes by quickly, each day is rapidly replaced by the next, work, school, food, clothes, cleaning, house projects 'done' and house projects 'arrested', Reformation Day celebration, Josip's birthday, Sunday morning services, dr. appointments - all in a month's work:))) All of those are also good things. Times of fellowship, times of joy, times of learning self-discipline, times of rest after an exhausting day, times of going to school alone!, times of preaching the Gospel, times of hanging pictures on the wall... A great big 'mess' of things, that will someday be memories to all of us, that will be 'childhood' to my boys.

Even now, I am off: gotta take Luka to the doctor (last week at the cardiologist, he got a clean bill of health - no more of those visits anymore, praise the Lord!) and then to Barb's for a visit. Here are two cards I made recently, one for Jakov's friend and the other one was Josip's B-party invitation. Have fun, everyone:)))